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Buy GOOD music, you fools!!

You’ve probably seen, at some point, some random guy on the internet ranting on about how bad popular music is these days.

Well, I’m about to do pretty much the exact same thing.

WHAT IS WITH ALL YOU FRIGGIN’ PEOPLE AND THE MUSIC YOU BUY??

A lot of the most popular songs right now are brainless and just plain stupid. A great amount of the artists with these songs can’t even sing, to make things worse. I swear, it seems like all people have to do these days to get a popular song is just write some lyrics about partying or something, and then make a good hook. Disgusting.

Do these people even care about GOOD LYRICS? Because I’m pretty sure that these songs that dominate the charts do not have good lyrics.

Stupid lyrics from Miley Cyrus

Take “Party In the U.S.A.” for example. Oh man I love to make fun of this song. Its lyrics could be written by a-ten-year old. I get the feeling that some ten-year-old out there could write better lyrics. But I digress. The biggest stupid lyric in this song is this:

Movin’ my hips like yeah.

Wait, since when the heck can you move your hips like “YEAH?” How do even compare anything to the word “YEAH?!!” At least “Nodding my head like yeah” made a slight more amount of sense, since nodding your head would usually mean, “yes.” BUT STILL! SHE RHYMED “YEAH WITH YEAH!!!”

Oh, and let’s not forget that the whole topic of the song is just completely boring. And un-complex. How is this whole partying topic constantly interesting to people? Uh… I guess I really don’t understand the type of people who listen to this stuff… You’d think they’d only use it for actual parties. But they seem to listen to it whenever they want on their iPod. Doesn’t make sense to me. Now, rock, it can be about pretty much whatever you want. It’s rarely about partying. Because music ought to be more complex than that.

It is quite fortunate for enemies of popular music that there are certain people in the pop genre that are really easy to make fun of.

That’s a boy??

I am of course talking about Justin Beiber. Now, let’s get this straight. I will never, never, never, understand how people can take this guy seriously. A teenager with a girly voice ought to be a turn-off, right? Well, apparently not.

Now, beyond the whole voice thing… THE MUSIC IS LAME!

Let’s look at these lyrics here, uh…

BABY, BABY, BABY OHHHHHHHHHH
BABY, BABY, BABY OHHHHHHHHHH

Mama Luigi!  He can't believe that Justin Beiber is a man.

Shocking, right?

Now, we’ve all heard repetitive songs. But here’s the thing: if you’re going to repeat a line, make it a good one!  Now, saying “baby” over and over again–yeah, that’s not exactly quality English. And it’s made worse by how he basically is doing the same sequence of notes over and over again. And it’s

made even worse by that–well, I think that’s the whole chorus! It’s catchy, sure, but it mattes not.

Oh, and if you watch that music video, and you’re one of those enemies to pop music–you might end up sick to your stomach. Basically, he like, goes to

a bowling alley, some sort of old girlfriend is there, they bowl for a bit, then he starts harassing her by saying “BABY, BABY, BABY OHHHHH,” and so she pushes him around a bit, but he keeps following her, and somehow this ends up getting her back. You might say that that’s a run-on sentence. I DON’T CARE RIGHT NOW

Another Complaint

I’m gonna wrap this up right about now, because this is getting lengthy, but I have one more complaint.

HOW’D THEY MAKE MIRANDA COSGROVE INTO A SINGER?!

It’s absurd.

She is really, really quite terrible at singing. I’m not going to listen to any more of her songs, because they frighten me. Though I have read many claims that her latest album was heavily edited by computers. I’m not going to confirm these claims or anything, but let it be known that she is no singer.

What’s with Nickelodeon, following after Disney Channel and turning actors into singers?

Oh yeah, that reminds me. Salena Gomez is no singer either. But somehow that “Naturally” song has gained popularity. Even though its lyrics are somewhat lame. I don’t know what the heck she’s talking about. But at least it’s not a song about partying.

Demi Lovato, however, can sing. So, that’s good. I also like how her sound is more rock-ish than the other lame people who came out of Disney Channel. I mean, really, she’s good. An excellent singer.

Well, that’s enough ranting against pop music for today. But more soon? Uh… I don’t really know. It just might happen. But it really all comes down to if I feel like it or not. I certainly have more complaints against pop. But they can be heard later.

-Tomtwelve

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Categories: music
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